finding the beautiful in the ordinary

Thursday, April 28, 2016

so, today I've been thinking... What makes a day beautiful? What makes a life beautiful? A person beautiful? And I believe the answer is in the simplest thing. Finding the beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can choose to understand this as- things are beautiful because you look at them and you think, wow this thing is beautiful, this is a gorgeous day, it's in what you think about the thing you're seeing. Seeing in itself is something that is beautiful and mysterious. We take it for granted. We only realise that we have something good when its presence is no longer 100% guaranteed. I've got eyes that sometimes don't see too well. And that's scary. But it's also made me realise that seeing is really beautiful. And things are really beautiful. Just being able to look at things, even on a day that isn't absolutely fabulous is such a blessing. 

Look at things a little more, think about the whole process. Watch your days transform. Every day is new and live. Watch the shadows dance, watch the trees sway, see the cars passing by, and the day fade to night. There is always something to see. The sky is constantly changing, constantly moving. Look up. Notice. Be thankful. That's what makes a day, a life, a person beautiful. 

Be grateful today and take time to slow down and appreciate all the things in your life today. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Or what tomorrow may not bring. The future is not certain or guaranteed. Look at everything, see lots. See as much as you possibly can, while your eyes are still open. 


On a life-long commitment to self-improvement

Friday, April 22, 2016

Why build on your skills? You should build on your skills because there is always room for improvement, no matter who you are.



Make a commitment to yourself. To always be open to the world. To always be open to life. Promise yourself today that you will always participate through your interest of being a lifetime learner. Why become a lifetime learner? I suggest, encourage becoming committed to identifying as a lifetime learner because there is a whole world out there that you know nothing about, systems and ideas and art and cultures waiting to be discovered and revelled in. For everything you do know, there are a million more things to be learnt.

Edx.com has a plethora of topics waiting for you to explore. There are many sites out there where you can dive into learning. Some are free and some require a small fee, either monthly or yearly. I have looked at skillshare, and have bought a course from the ShawAcademy but due to poor time management was unable to complete it and receive a diploma. Time management is a tricky skill for some, myself included. Learning to work on my time management skills is vital for any improvement of myself in any field of my life.



Give up something that is not contributing to making you more knowledgeable, more aware, more interested and involved. Give up things with no time=value earnings for your part. Time spent on empty activities, with no benefit or improvement of anything after time spent completing the activity, identify them and limit them to absolute minimal. Become super stingy with your time. Your time is not endless, so don’t act like it is. Manage your time. Analyse your days, the time spend doing what. Are you spending enough time working on you? Working for you and your bigger picture? Every day spent well contributes to the achievement of your dreams. Even days of rest which are well-deserved. Take days off to connect with nature, and to re-align and evaluate your progress and your projected future path. Adjust if necessary.

Realise that your time is VALUABLE. The time you take reading this. If you don’t find value in this, please, do not let me waste any more of your time. No, really. Time is so precious. Please do not spend your time on things that do not have any form of value to you.



You should be working on building skills, building good relationships, building systems to support you in the future, building credibility, building on your dreams. Dream and then do the work. Dream and dream some more and then find a dream and write it down and analyse it and figure out why you want to achieve this particular dream/goal and then pursue it. Run with it. Almost every good business idea, every good book pitch, every good creative endeavour, began with a dream someone refused to let go of. Latch onto your dreams. Think of the things you believed you would be going for as an adult when you were a child. Stick to those core values. The greater good. The bigger picture. Refuse to be an adult disconnected from their core values. Refuse to give up on your dreams. Live your days in alignment with your core values and your dreams and you will live a life you will be proud of.

 I wish everyone would keep the memory of their childhood-self alive. Little kids would actually be the best life coaches. Let your inner kid remind you of the adult you are capable of being. The adult you should be. Don’t let that kid down.


consumerism

Having less with more meaning.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Consumerism is suffocating a generation. We are bombarded daily by adverts enticing us to buy, buy, buy more. We work and we spend. Lots. Often. Endlessly. Our spaces become the collection zones for all of this stuff we were convinced in a moment that we needed. Advertisers play on our insecurities and our want to fit in, to have the thing "everyone has" to look just like the rest, so we don't stand out too much. So we can be comfortable. We think this will make us happy, so we dig into our pockets. We buy.




But the happiness remains elusive. It is just beyond the next purchase. Always the next purchase. Happiness never arrives with the last purchase you made, it someone manages to slip through our hands and wait for us, calling us from beyond the purchase next in line. The next thing we so badly must have. Now. To make us happy.

The truth is, things can never fill internal voids or emotional pain. Buying is a way of numbing existential crises, it makes us into these passive robots. Our happiness, we have been conditioned to believe, is waiting for us in a new shiny thing we do not yet own. In a better fitting pair of jeans. In the next update, or a bigger screen. These things only dumb us down. We start to believe that our happiness is out of our control.


But of course they want you to believe that. They need you unhappy. They need you to believe that your emoitonal void can and will be filled with buying things, that we must buy and buy and one day, someday far in the future, when we have made enough money to purchase the one thing that holds our ultimate happiness and contentment that all this searching will cease.



But it course it won't. Because your happiness is in your own hands. It's up to you. You and only you are capable of attaining happiness for yourself (not your wallet). Happiness stems from contentment which steams from gratitude. And gratitude is the being thankful for what you do have, not being bitter about what you do not. When you learn that your amount of material and possessions does not directionally correlate to your level of happiness, then you understand that you can be happy with nothing and you can be happy with everything. The amount of stuff, the stuff itself makes no difference. You make the difference. Your attitude makes the difference. You are in control. Don't let our consumerist society brainwash you into believing that happiness lies outside of you. That has never been true.

 The corporations need to drive that false message into the minds of the majority because the few individuals who benefit hugely from having a huge need and demand are the people furthurest from happy. They have put their worth, purpose and happiness into the hands of material possessions and let their amount of wealth dictate their levels of happiness. And that is never a good idea because money and numbers can go on forever. Their search will be endless. Unattainable.


We can decide to attain happiness by not searching for it in external possessions. We can learn that internal beliefs and ideas will give us freedom and happiness; a reason for being, a sense of purpose and direction, nurturing our need for belonging and finding people we relate to on levels far beyond anything materialistic, forming bonds with people who inspire and uplift us because they are inspired and uplifted. This type of person does not tie their happiness to the chains of consumerism. They know that happiness is freely available. Happiness grows when watered. You can never buy happiness. You can only but things.

Love people. Buy things. When you understand you cannot buy people or love, and you should not love things you will realise your need for things will sharply decrease. Happiness lies in your hands. Not in your bank account or your wallet. That's where your money is. 

open your eyes

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Wednesdays can be the cause of the mid-week blues. Halfway through whatever needs to be accomplished this week. Maybe you've fallen behind on a lot of things. You could even be ahead- if you are.. yay! But no matter how much you've done or still need to get done, always remember to stop. And look around. And know that there is beauty to be found. If you only open your eyes. Be open to all the beauty around you - especially the everyday small beauties. If you can learn to cultivate an appreciation for the smaller things in life you'll soon realise that they it's all the small things that actually hold the most joy. Be open to the joy of small beauty.


And good luck with the rest of your week. 

On using your words

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Nobody is born with language. It's something we learn. Language is the tool we use to communicate with the external world, how we express our internal ideas, thoughts and feelings. Our hopes and our fears. We use our words to say things that need to be said and sometimes things we wish we had not said, in hindsight.



Learning the art of using your words effectively and communicating clearly is a journey. It's a skill.

Your words either inspire, uplift and encourage or they degrade, mock and hurt causing destruction and pain. They either nurture life and promote better tomorrows and cause people's eyes to sparkle, connect and come from a place of love or the opposite. Hurtful words which degrade or mock others come from a place of fear and inner unease.


Your words reflect your highest beliefs, your relationship with yourself and your mission in life. Use your words to plant seeds of love in the hearts and minds of others. Use your words to heal, not to wound. Choose to love people's successes and be happy for them out of a place of inner love, inner peace and stillness.

Speak words of affirmation, of approval, of anticipation of good, words of love not of hate. Use your voice to speak words of forgiveness, kind words. Use your voice to affect those around you positively. Enrich. Help others grow.



The words you choose to say tell speak volumes about your inner life, about the essential you, inside there. Happy inside, happy outside. Happy words, happy life.

Happy people have happy faces. Be the love and kindness so many need. Help happy live and grow in others, happy begins in you, happy words reach tired minds and warm hearts. Happy words are contagious.

What you speak, you become. Let your words be happy.

7 things

7 things happy people think about

Friday, April 15, 2016

Think of the happiest person you know. The person you look up to, or the person you imagine when you think about becoming “your best self”. What do they all have in common? Their thoughts.
Let me explain. Happy people think differently. They dream differently. They imagine differently. They let themselves be different, do things differently.

We all have something like 50 000- 70 000 thoughts on average every day. If those thoughts are negative, that’s a LOT of negativity. You’re poisoning your mind. Negative thoughts are heavy and they steal freedom and life.




Happy people have happy thoughts. You are what you think about, what your beliefs are, what you do over and over, your daily habits. Thoughts become a habit. The majority of the things we think are a repeat of the thoughts from the day before, and the before that, and the day before that. We get stuck in the thought patterns of our minds. If the thoughts are negative - it’s daily negativity. You will become stuck in a cycle of negative thinking, which leads to getting sick more often, not doing the things that are on your heart and being generally tired and disheartened. 



The seven things happy people think about are:

  1.         HAPPY THINGS. Happy people consciously make an effort to clean their minds. They evaluate their thought processes; letting go of the heavy, negative thoughts that try to latch on, replacing them with lighter, happier thoughts. Thoughts that encourage life and do not prevent it.
  2.         HOW GRATEFUL THEY ARE. The people with happy eyes have happy minds and happy hearts. The easiest way to have a happy heart is to genuinely count your blessings. Every single one. Every single day. Starting with the smallest. Gradually you will realize that you take most things for granted and you actually have many more blessings than you originally thought. And that's really good. 
  3.      TOMORROW. Although happy people live in the present, they do think about and plan for tomorrow. They make healthy, life-encouraging choices. They choose to eat well for tomorrow. They choose to keep their minds keen and sharp by challenging themselves intellectually and creatively. They think about what kind of a person they want to be tomorrow and do something about it today.
  4.      DEATH. We are all going to die. If you think about your own mortality more often, chances are you will start to lead a better life. Go for your dreams. You only have one life. This is it.
  5.       THEMSELVES. But not in a vain or self-obsessed manner, they think about who they were yesterday, and how they can improve themselves through regular self-evaluation and a conscious effort to choose to forgive themselves for failing in the past and to focus on future successes and future contentment through dedication, awareness and resilience.
  6.       THE ESSENCE OF WHAT LIFE’S ABOUT. The people who live the longest aren’t the richest. Aren’t the most famous or most hard-working. They are the ones who have had a long life of choosing to focus on their blessings, other people, service and maintaining healthy relationships. Having a long life isn’t about giving up on all material goals but instead not basing your whole life on materialistic values, placing your life’s worth on your internal happiness. Happy people are engaging, involved, interested, enthusiastic and listen to what their heart is whispering. They focus on the essence of being alive. They laugh, they see the best in others, they tell the truth, they don’t hold onto negativity. Life is all about choices. Choose to make your life a happy life. 
  7.       FINDING STILLNESS. Happy people know how much they can handle. They know how to achieve balance in their lives. They know how to say “No” without saying they are sorry and when to say yes. They find stillness through putting themselves first when they need to and focusing on what’s important. They attain inner stillness by organizing a potentially chaotic outer-world through a method of introspection and figuring out what’s best for them, for their long-term goals and what’s best to get done in this moment to maintain their stillness so they do not regret today. Finding stillness is about learning to be still, quietening everything to listen to your heart. You already know how to be happy. Let yourself be still. Happiness will follow. 





The art of re-using Plastic Bags

Thursday, April 14, 2016

   As you begin to grow in your journey towards being more aware of your everyday actions, their consequences and what needs to change you will slowly become quite disgusted with the amount of plastic that we use, day in and day out. Or at least that is what happened with me. 

Let's think about it. Just about everything you buy comes wrapped in plastic that loses its value as soon as you open your purchase for use. The bundle of plastic gets thrown out or stored somewhere in your house, often stored in bunches in another form of plastic packaging... why do we do this? This is a modern phenomenon. We need to stop using so much plastic. We need to be less wasteful. Kinder to our environment. We are choking it with plastic. 



Again the thing here is to become mindful about it. Let's think about that word for a second. "MIND-FUL"... this essentially means making a more conscious effort to be aware of everything, being more awake to your life, being open to seeing the meaning and the implications of everyday, simple things. Like the grossly excessive consumption of things that come wrapped in plastic! 

 How can you complain about the litter on the side of the road if you are a part of the majority of the population who buy new plastic bags with every shopping purchase. Every single one. "Throwing" your bags "away" does not make them magically disappear into nothing. Sure, it frees up some space in your environment but they will be transported along with all the other things that we throw out onto some piece of land somewhere to sit. And sit. Changing this problem starts with you.

You can do something about this. Be more mindful of the plastic in your day to day life and make a conscious effort to take your own bags, start to reuse containers in your house. Simply buy less. You'll save money and you won't have the problem of the plastic wrapping to deal with (I know, it doesn't take the problem away - but it's a start!) 




The art of re-using plastic bags is exactly that. It's an art. It will take a while to become a habit but once it sticks, it will be your new normal. Become disgusted with plastic bags. Talk about it to the people in your life. Voice your concerns for our voiceless Earth which is becoming clogged with plastic due to our modern ways of excessive consumerism. Buying more isn't going to make you any happier! It's a momentary high of... Yay! Something new and shiny! And then the plastic comes off and the money leaves your pocket and it becomes less shiny and then it's on to the next thing you "need". 




Take your own bags to the shop. Think about what you really need. Be irritated with all the plastic packaging. Do something about it. What you buy speaks volumes about who you are. If we all boycotted the plastics, companies and manufacturers would be forced to find wrapping and packaging kinder for our Earth. Things would change. It starts with you, your own plastic bag and being kinder to the Earth, one avoided item of plastic-covered purchase at a time.


this is how you change your world: becoming mindful

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

You say you're interested in saving the world, but what are you doing about it? 
You say we need to save water, but how much have your recently saved? 
You say things are really terrible these days, there is so much hatred and violence, but what are you doing to make things better? 



Making things better starts at home. Making small changes in your environment, in the way you treat the people around you. You will know which changes to make by becoming mindful. Being mindful or becoming more mindful is easy and can be instant. It's about becoming more rooted in the moment, more in control and essentially just being more aware of just being. Mindfulness can change you life, because it changes each moment. You become more aware of the blessings in your life, your way of thinking starts to change, you become more and more grateful. Gratitude and mindfulness stem from each other, they are inter-linked. One will grow the other or strengthen the other.



This is how to be more mindful today. Here. Now.
Take yourself out of your negative thinking patterns by noticing them and then choosing to change them to a grateful thought. Over time this will soon become a habit and negative thinking will be a thing of the past. Negative thinking steals life energy and enthusiasm and joy. It takes you out of your present moment rich with possibilities and opportunities and either propels you forward or backward - into the past which you can do nothing about and must accept or into the future and growing worry there instead of planting seeds now, today, in this moment.

Seeds of joy and happiness and gratitude. This is how you save tomorrow. This is how you make your contribution to a better world. By being better and you can only be better, be happier when you begin to think better and by better I really mean more positively. Which is a choice. So much will happen when you decide to free your mind from the heaviness and the uneasiness of constant, ceaseless worry.  I know, things can be tough. Days can be long and lonely and grueling. But there is so much to be thankful for each day. Choose to focus on that.


Most happy people are happy because they are mindful and refuse to live in any place else than the present moment which we are blessed with again and again and again. Now and now. And now. Another moment. Become thankful for each new moment, every new day. Embrace the unknown and the many forms each day could take on. Where the next few steps could lead you.

Never go to bed without giving thanks. No matter how bad the day was, it was another day. So many are not granted another day each day. Gratitude starts in the morning, waking up and greeting the day joyfully and treating it as a precious gift. Your grateful attitude will be contagious. You will glow. Your thoughts will be lighter, easier to carry. Your life will begin to be a little clearer, even if you are lost. You will gain perspective. You are in control. Take control. 

Notice the plants in your garden - water them. Notice the pets in your house that love you more than you know. Notice their need for love and attention. Notice the people in your street. Your town. Your country. Notice the problems within the social constructs of today. Decide to be an agent for change, in your own way. Be mindful. Be grateful. Be the kindness you wish to see in the world.


self-eficacy

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

if you've been looking for inspiration or motivation, this is it. This is going to be me telling you what you need to hear. This is the truth. Here it is:
  • if you believe you can, you can
  • you decide how to respond to every day 
  • you are capable 
  • you are more than capable
because:
  • you are enough 
  • you are loved
  • you are open to what's to come
  • you are hopeful 
  • you will not let yourself become a black-hole of negativity 
  • you will choose happiness every morning
Life can be beautiful, or it could be boring and monotonic. The fabulous thing about life is that you are living it, and your life is YOURS and you are able to change, no matter how old, no matter how young. Leave what you have been pre-conditioned to believe behind, form your own healthy coping mechanisms, walk in your garden, or outside, or stare out of your window up at the sky and think, wow! This is the sky. This is this day. I get to look out of my window today and look at this sky, isn't it beautiful. Isn't this beautiful? Won't the sky still be beautiful no matter the amount of money in your bank account or the brand of jeans you're wearing? Whether you are young or old? The sky will always be there, being beautiful and you can choose to open your eyes to see that beauty today and for every new day to come. 

The sky's beauty and the beauty in nature, in everything around you has always been silently waiting for you to notice it, so that it can begin to carve an appreciation for the small beautiful things into your heart and make every day a little brighter. 

Do you know that people will be attracted to your positive life-outlook, you have the power to inspire change in others, change for the better. A better world starts with a self-aware, self-evaluating individual who is able to think independently and form their own life path, regardless of circumstance or what others believe is possible for you. Only you get to say what is possible for you. Show them that anything is possible for you. The sky is the limit. 

talking hands

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

I have always been fascinated with people's hands, and the way they carry themselves. I think that hands are the most personal part of ourselves, at times also the most expressive. If you make it a habit, you can without much effort tell a lot about a person's state of being, or state of mind by watching what they do with their hands. People often say it is the eyes that are the window to the soul but the hands I believe are the indicators of emotion, the moment to moment states of existence.  

Strangers are the most complex group of individuals, they are my favourite. People have absolute control over what they project out into the world, little things for others to pick up on, somehow painting a picture of the essence of this person. Some people are extremely hard to read or examine because they do not share much with the rest of us, they "keep to themselves" and I urge you to not overlook people such as these as they are often overlooked or categorized as boring or uninteresting, but these are the people who are watching you and already have you figured out. They would have lots to say, if you would only ask.  


on putting it out there

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

days are given meaning from the things that we choose to do with them, essentially how we spend our time. I feel as though many people these days live as though they are going to have a million days and a million more after that.

This is not true. Our days are finite. Limited.

So, quickly- what is your dream? What do you wish you were? What kind of a world do you wish this world could be? A lot of people's replies would have something to do with being kinder.

But this is the simple truth. To be kinder you should just be. Be kind. Just let yourself be kind. It comes naturally to us.

We have constructed these huge walls and barriers between us and others. We live in physical and emotional separation. I wish we could all be a little kinder. I wish we could live in a kinder world. I know that a revolution of kindness starts with no one other than me.

I choose kindness. I choose to mindfully and actively participate in every day of my life and live this life out with as much kindness in my heart as I possibly can. See the best in people. Be an encourager. Talk about what you love. What moves you. Put yourself out there. Put kindness out there. Kindness will always find its way back to you. Kindness works in strange ways.


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